I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sext me about skeletons
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize