Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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