Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
