I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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