Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Damn victory sex feels great
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
