He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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