We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
