literally had 100 drinks last night.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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