Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
