no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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