Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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