He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My vagina just recognized that song.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
