Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
