Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
