my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize