whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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