you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
