Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
