It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
