He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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