I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your cock deserves a montage
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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