Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
