hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
