Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
