maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
