the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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