ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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