Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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