what day is it and did you see me today?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
