Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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