i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
