Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
