oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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