I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
