I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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