Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
