I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
where am i from again
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
