kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
