Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
