They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
