brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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