so explain again why im purple
no
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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