Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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