Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
