Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
