who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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