I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Randomize
