fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
