I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
