sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Floor bacon is actually really good
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
