My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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