He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
